Exit, Stage Right

I have got to stop volunteering. Is there a 12 step program for this? In a moment of weakness I agreed to become the stage manager for Monkey Boy's play. What does this mean? It means I have to keep 43 (I'm not exaggerating) children in the right place at the right time and I have to keep them quiet. I just finished doing this for 2 and 1/2 hours and I'm exhausted.

So far I've learned that if I know their name already, they get my attention way too much by talking and acting up. I have learned about 10 names so far. Tonight's highlights:

• Peter Pan lost her cool when she realized that her zipper was down while on stage.
• Tinker Bell had a mild crisis when her necklace broke.
• Mermaids were very silly and talkative.
• The flying scene did not go well.
• Some of the older kids tried to put a smaller kid in the electrical box because they thought he would fit.