Monday, November 27, 2006

I don't know if I can . . .

Monkey Boy has asked me to knit something. Its a big deal to a knitter when their child asks them to knit something. We, frankly, live for it. Here's the catch: Monkey Boy wants me to knit a sweater for Marco the Psychologically Needy Puppy. Yes, he wants me to knit a dog sweater. Why a dog that lives in the tropical South where it rarely gets below 40 degrees would need a sweater, I don’t know. Do I have the technical skills to do this? Yes. Do I have unbridled enthusiasm for this project? No.

Why, you may ask, do I not have enthusiasm for this project? I have a fear that knitting a dog sweater will end my sex life. Think about it. If you tell a guy that you have knitted a sweater for your dog he will absolutely lose all desire to see you naked. Seriously, knitting clothes for animals could be used as a form of birth control. Not that I'm hoping or expecting to have sex any time in the near future (This is the part where I slide in the fact that my husband and I have separated.) But I don't want to eliminate the possibility for the rest of my life!

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Close to Crash and Burn

The other day Monkey Boy was off from school. Because I wasn't off from work, he went with me. Monkey Boy is unusual in that he can entertain himself at the office. After a pleasant morning, Monkey Boy, another woman named Pam and myself went to lunch. On the way back, Monkey Boy announces that he would like to own a slave. This when the crash and burn almost took place. Pam is a woman of color. Having a small, white child announce that he wants a slave in front of a person of color is not typically a good thing. Keeping my composure, I asked Monkey Boy why he would need a slave when he has a mother who does his bidding. He then informs me that he has a specific person in mind for a slave. Pretending not to notice that Pam is staring at me in horror and disbelief, I ask him who he has in mind. "I want Albert Einstein for a slave so that he can do my homework!" Pam cracks up at the point. Saved by Monkey Boy's unique perspective on life!

"Imagination is more important than knowledge."
- Albert Einstein

Thoughts of Thanksgiving

Have you ever thought about what a brilliant American holiday Thanksgiving is? I know that there are other countries with their own version of Thanksgiving, but the one that falls this Thursday is uniquely ours. What other country would come up with a holiday geared at eating? And not just eating, but a holiday when we all eat basically the same thing. I know that other cultures and countries may have holidays when eating certain foods are part of the tradition. For example, the Jewish culture has Seder. Each of the foods symbolize a specific thing. Chinese New Year has a somewhat prescribed menu as well, again symbolic. Not our Thanksgiving holiday dinner. Turkey is served because a couple of centuries ago, a group of thankful people ate turkey. Yams or sweet potatoes have crept into the menu as well as green bean casserole. It is basically a menu entirely built on uniform, cultural tradition rather than symbolism. And to top it off, we always celebrate it on a Thursday so that the American office worker gets not one but two days off!

Our menu has not changed much in the past years. We have a turkey breast (if my FIL is here I'll do a whole turkey because he LOVES dark meat), mashed potatoes, gravy, cornbread dressing, cranberry sauce, squash casserole and amaretto cheesecake. If my parents are here, I'll add yams for my dad. Yes, I know that I throwing tradition to the wind with the cheesecake, but you would understand if you had ever had my cheesecake! Several of my friends have tried to talk me into coming to their house for Thanksgiving (I think they want the cheesecake) and foregoing cooking my own dinner preparations. Monkey Boy will not have that. This is his favorite meal of the year. Love that boy!

Monkey Boy way back in kindergarten as the cutest pilgram in the world.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Halloween Fun

Monkey Boy loves Halloween. It entails two of his favorite things: dressing up in a costume and getting free candy. He lives for this holiday. It starts by his spending hours pouring over the costume catalogs we get in the mail, before finally settling on the 'perfect one.' Here's this year's winner:


This year Marco the Wonder Pup participated in the fun with a costume. He was Spider Dog. I was surprised how good natured he was about the whole thing as my last Westie would have chewed his way out of the costume. Marco acted like it was normal to be wearing a mask. Being total goofs, we paraded him through the neighborhood in his costume.

Next, we decorate the house. As part of this tradition, Monkey Boy fusses at me because the decorations are not scary enough. One of our decorations is a dancing stuffed figure of Frankenstein that sings 'The Monster Mash.' This thing both terrified and fascinated Marco the Wonder Pup. And, of course, we carve a pumpkin. I spend the whole time worrying about Monkey Boy cutting off a finger during the process.

That is a bat. Aren't we talented?!

Finally it is the big day. The costume is donned and the excitement level is truly high. Let the celebration begin! This year we went to a party at a friend's house, which was a blast. The male host of the event was dressed as a cow and had far too much fun playing with the costume's udders, which we have renamed mudders for 'man udders.'