Must...Sleep...Soon
Ya'll know how much I love Monkey Boy, but I have a suspicion that he is trying to kill me really, really, really slowly by not letting me sleep. The first part of the week was sleepless due to strep. Last night was sleepless due to snake.
Around 4am this morning I was awoken by someone kicking me in the shins over and over again. I'm sure normal women would have woken up with a scream, fearing that they were being attacked. I just whined, 'Stop kicking me. Leave me alone.' Monkey Boy said that he heard a 'ssssssssssssss.' Crap. "Are you sure you heard that noise?" "Oh, yes, Mom, I'm sure. I think it was a snake."
It isn't outside the realm of possibility that a snake was in the house. We live next to a pond and I've seen them in the yard. And I did have some of the doors open during the day because it was so warm yesterday. Crap. On the other hand, it was 4 o'clock in the morning. What snake would be rude enough to bother me at that ungodly hour?
Monkey Boy would not go to sleep until I had thoroughly inspected the room. I had to strip the covers off of the bed, look under all the furniture and check the closets -- did I mention it was 4 in the morning? I asked him if he was sure that he heard a 'ssssssssssssssss.' He informed me that he had been dreaming about snakes and maybe it was in his dreams. Seriously, I'm not making this up. He, of course, went right back to sleep and I laid awake wondering if it was a real snake or a dream snake. At this point I have no snake sightings to report. However, a sleep-deprived, slightly deranged woman has been sighted in my mirror.
Around 4am this morning I was awoken by someone kicking me in the shins over and over again. I'm sure normal women would have woken up with a scream, fearing that they were being attacked. I just whined, 'Stop kicking me. Leave me alone.' Monkey Boy said that he heard a 'ssssssssssssss.' Crap. "Are you sure you heard that noise?" "Oh, yes, Mom, I'm sure. I think it was a snake."
It isn't outside the realm of possibility that a snake was in the house. We live next to a pond and I've seen them in the yard. And I did have some of the doors open during the day because it was so warm yesterday. Crap. On the other hand, it was 4 o'clock in the morning. What snake would be rude enough to bother me at that ungodly hour?
Monkey Boy would not go to sleep until I had thoroughly inspected the room. I had to strip the covers off of the bed, look under all the furniture and check the closets -- did I mention it was 4 in the morning? I asked him if he was sure that he heard a 'ssssssssssssssss.' He informed me that he had been dreaming about snakes and maybe it was in his dreams. Seriously, I'm not making this up. He, of course, went right back to sleep and I laid awake wondering if it was a real snake or a dream snake. At this point I have no snake sightings to report. However, a sleep-deprived, slightly deranged woman has been sighted in my mirror.
posted by Peach Pod at 9:34 AM
2 Comments:
actually, he is trying to kill you. I realized this when my 3 darlings would tag team me. One would stay awake all night, then the other, then the other--you get the picture. I just know they had little rally's where they sat around saying "its your turn tonight--I've kept her up t2 nights in a row and I've got to get some sleep". They wear you down, then they've got you!!! :)
One of my friends's sons put a little green snake in a dixie cup in the refrigerator--she opened the door to a half frozen, very slow snake hanging out of a cup at eye level. That kid would not have made it at my house!
I believe you when you say he is trying to kill me. It reminds me of when he was a toddler and people would ask me where he got all of his energy from. I told them he sucked it out of me!
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