Photo Memories
For those of you that are further down the road of divorce, I have a question: What do you do with the photos of the ex? Right now I can't open my wedding album; it makes me ill. I am a scrapbooker and have tons of albums filled with photos of the evil him. I hate looking at them. Do you just keep a couple of photos and box the rest up to give to him or do you put them away thinking that some day in very, very, very distant future, you'll want them? Or do you have other suggestions?
posted by Peach Pod at 1:00 PM
8 Comments:
well, first, because of the "equitable division of property" bit, I divided up photos, gave him what he took before we were together, etc... couldn't afford the wedding album, so all i have are proofs and the negatives anyway. I guess I have just tabled this issue. Over time I imagine it won't feel the same.
I'm not divorced... but... I think your son might like them sometime down the road.
I haven't gone through all the thousands of photos yet--but of the ones that were out or that I have come across I gave the ones that included him and his family to him. I gave him most of the ones of him and the kids. There are almost none of me and the kids (I was the photographer). We had some lovely professional ones of the kids that I have yet to divide--he has a lot of them in frames, and I haven't had the energy to go through and "divide"--I think I will scan the ones I give him first so I will have a copy. Wedding photos I'll save for the kids, as well as any others that may be of the two of us--he sent all of the pictures of me and/or us back in a big envelope. I was glad he didn't keep them.
Thanks for the input. I think I'll pull them out of the albums and put them in photo safe boxes. Maybe Monkey Boy will want them when he grows up. I might even put them in their own album and just pack them away for him. I could mark the box as something to give him when he graduates college. The photos that hurt me the most are the wedding ones. I think I'll pack them away, too. I'm at a point where I need to remove things that hurt me from my line of sight. My emotions are still too tender.
I'm not divorced, however we are separated. I kept the pictures intact in albums because I knew my children would want them.
Current albums of course exclude him, lol. :D
I leave them in the closet for now. Maybe someday I'll be able to look back without so much bitterness. For now they are there for the boys.
I've been divorced for 8 years, and we have now become friends and co-parents to our children. I kept my photos of us in the closet, and recently my daughter found some and enjoyed looking through them. So yes, put them away so they don't hurt you now, but save them for Monkey Boy to look at later.
Separated for four years, divorced almost three.
I gave him all of his family photos; I carried more bitterness towards them than him.
He is the father of my kids, and we DID have a life together. The photo albums are intact. Until 6 months ago, we had a 'family picture' of our last happy beach vacation up on the mantle. He was in it. I finally took it down.
Occasionally the kids will put his pic up on the fridge. I'll leave it there for a few days, then move it somewhere else.
No easy answer. Best advice is to WAIT. Everything changes with time.
peace to you...
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