Perfection is highly overrated
In honor of those evil women who get everything done for the holidays and whose homes look like a Hallmark card, I have created a special list. It is a list of the things I meant to do, but didn't get done this holiday season:
- Give an open house party on Christmas Eve. Excuse: I'm tired.
- Wrap presents in a pretty and professional manner. Excuse: Do you really care how I wrap your present as long as you get one and its wrapped?
- Wrap all the presents. Excuse: This is specifically targeted at my friend Nancy in NC because if I had wrapped her family's presents, I wouldn't have gotten them mailed in time for Christmas since I finished knitting one of the presents on Thursday (yes, as in the Thursday before Monday's Christmas) at 4:15 and our post office closes at 5:00. So I just stuck To:/From: tags on the gifts without wrapping them. Sad, yes?
- Make cookies from scratch instead from a mix. Excuse: I'm tired.
- Buy my husband a really nice present. Excuse: Since my soon-to-be ex husband has been busted for sleeping with other women, he's lucky to get the book and sweater I bought him. Some may ask why I'm giving him presents at all. I'm really doing it for Monkey Boy so that I won't look like a Grinch in his eyes.
- Mail presents early. Excuse: God invented Priority Mail for a reason. I'm the reason.
- Put up all the Christmas decorations I have instead of just half of them. Considering the state of my life, I'm doing well to get a tree up at all, never mind decorate it. Plus, I'm tired. Notice a theme?
- Buy new Christmas outfit. Excuse: I keep waiting to wake up thin one morning and this hasn't happened yet.
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