The World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party

This weekend is one of my most hated weekends: the Georgia-Florida game. G-r-o-a-n. I live about 400 feet from the party central for the Georgia confederacy of this rivalry, a local pub named Brogen’s. Not only will I, the Georgia Tech alumnus, be surrounded by UGA fans, I’ll be surrounded by drunk, obnoxious UGA fans. Joy. I’ll spend a good part of the weekend sitting on my front porch knitting and watching normally sensible people act like idiots as they walk down my street screaming “Go Dawgs!” at the top of their lungs to no one in particular.

Each year I pray that Georgia loses. Not because I particularly hate UGA. I personally think they have a fine athletic program. I pray for a loss so that I have minimum property damage. If UGA loses, all I have to deal with is a collection of beer cans and bottles in my shrubbery. If they win, there will be vandalism. Added to the beer cans and bottles will be whatever they can find to break: my mailbox, my landscaping posts, trees, lighting, whatever. Why do they break these things? Because they are drunk and happy and apparently this is how you celebrate when you are drunk and happy.

Today is Thursday and the hoards have already started to arrive. On the corner of one of the few intersections in the area with a traffic light was some guy with a sign that said “looking for tickets.” Everywhere you look is UGA stuff: those annoying little flags on people’s car windows, UGA hats and shorts, red and black balloons attached to everything.

This year the game is surrounded by controversy. Are there gambling allegations? No. Is there a drug scandal? No. The controversy has to do with the nickname of the event: “The World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party.” University of Georgia President Michael Adams objects to the use of the phrase "World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party" to describe the annual Georgia-Florida football game. Is he unclear on what people do at this game? They drink and then drink some more! I know people who go to this game every year and don’t know who won until they see it on the news the next morning because they were so drunk! Get a sense of humor, UGA President Adams!