Sunday, August 26, 2007

Satan is Leaving the Building

I know that the saying is, "Elvis has left the building." but I'm paraphrasing to "Satan is leaving the building." Yes, the evil one is finally moving out. Even though I had an idea that he was looking for a house because of the local rumor mill, Satan finally owned up to it today. This is news he felt that he needed to reveal to me at the local home improvement center after luring me there with a question about a new light fixture for Monkey Boy's room. I guess in his mind he thought I would make a drama out of this event so he wanted to pick a public place, but frankly, I'm just relieved. He closes on the house here next Friday and and then has a moving company clearing out the Michigan house (which still hasn't sold) the following week. It is kind of surreal that after months of battling him, he's finally moving out.

He's also been holding up the settlement agreement, and today I found out why. In the draft version of the agreement, we have a morality clause that says we can't have overnight guests when Monkey Boy is with us. He doesn't want to marry his bimbo anytime soon and wants the morality clause removed. Since the original reason I wanted the clause was to shield Monkey Boy from the fact that his father is a man whore, which Monkey Boy has figured out and since Satan has already broken the clause once and since I really don't think that Satan should marry again, I've agreed to removing the morality clause on the condition that it is removed for me as well. I really don't have any plans to have a stud muffin cabana boy move in with me in the near future, but I also don't want to give Satan the ability to try to take Monkey Boy away from me should he deem my personal life "unacceptable" and because I'm not giving him a privilege that I don't have myself. Satan wasn't pleased, but after a moment of whining, agreed to it.

So that's my exciting weekend. How has yours been?



Blogger Ali said...

Hmmm, stuf muffin cabana boy doesn't sound too shabby to me. Perhaps you should consider it - or, if you don't have a pool, you could always get a "boy" for your bathtub...

5:23 PM  
Blogger liv said...

Lord love you, woman! This is good news. The morality clause is a good idea, but of course, it means nothing if even a lawyer won't abide by it. I miss you so much!

5:45 PM  
Blogger lu said...

What a relief for you.

You'll have to call in a Priest, splash some holy water and such.

4:05 PM  
Anonymous terri said...

I say go for the stud-muffin cabana boy. You deserve one!

7:22 PM  
Blogger countrymouse said...

I am in awe that you were able to think through all the various possible scenarios of the morality clause before making a decision. I can't think on the spot like that. It would have taken me weeks to come up with everything you thought about. Good on ya!

9:37 AM  
Blogger amusing said...

What's good for the goose is good for the gander. I put the same sort of thing in my settlement, and was told it had to apply to both of us... (But then they don't tell you that enforcement is impossible. You have no recourse if they break the "rule")

7:24 AM  

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